Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
