Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Come see our sink grown plant.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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