Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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