how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
