Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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