I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
