you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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