Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
