If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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