all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i dont even know how to be here
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize