dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
