New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
