I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
