What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
