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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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