dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
