k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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