i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
