it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
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