And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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