there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
