you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
