So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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