I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
she smelled like a LAN party
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I need a burrito and a hug.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
