I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize