i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Randomize