where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize