You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
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