I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize