She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
do herpes really smell.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
