Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
