I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Randomize
