Midget sex pt 2 tonight
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
