I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
