I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
