He uses pillows to masturbate.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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