pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
