Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize