Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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