Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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