ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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