Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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