You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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