I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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