At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
