After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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