Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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