So gin and wine won't be happening again
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
