summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
did you just send me my own nude
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
