What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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