I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
