Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Why are your pants in the freezer?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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