she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
