Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
