we're blogging at a bar
I accidentally had phone sex last night
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
