life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
