well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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