Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
one might say we're banned from that church
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
