grandma shit on top of the toilet
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
